Team Edward or Team Jacob? – Team Jacob

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Abigail Lamour

The Twilight Saga is a world-renowned movie and novel series which feeds off the hormones of teenage girls. In this whirlwind of a drama, the main plot centers around Bella Swan and her inability to choose between two abnormally good- looking guys who are way too good for her: Edward Cullen and Jacob Black. Since these movies have become so popular, there has been an abundant amount of controversy over which of these men are better, and, in my opinion, any logically thinking person would choose Jacob Black. 

Of course, Edward has his perks. He’s old fashioned, which I happen to be a fan of. However, the only reason he’s considered old fashioned is because he’s a 104-year-old man dating a 17-year-old high school student.

 His possessive nature is another story. Throughout the entirety of the movies, Edward can’t help but to stalk Bella. He literally shows up in her room, in the middle of the night, lurking in a dark corner, and just stares at her.  If that doesn’t scream psycho, then I don’t know what does. 

Edward’s fear of commitment at the beginning of the franchise was also a huge problem. As soon as things started to get hard, he decided to move away. He didn’t tell Bella where he was going and left her in the middle of the woods, lying on the ground in a fetal position. This caused Bella to go into a year-long depression and the only person who was there for her was Jacob. 

Jacob spent time with Bella, helped her fix up old motorcycles, made her laugh, and basically got her through her over-dramatic seasonal hissy fit.

Jacob is sweet and warm to Bella. He climbed in a tent and warmed her up when she was freezing, when all Edward could do was stare at her, like always.

He’s a wolf, one of the only things that can kill vampires, which came in handy, since Edward made Bella a living target for all vampires. Jacob is basically a very large dog, and anyone who’s ever owned a dog knows how loyal they are. All you have to do is feed them and make sure they know to poop outside.

Edward also drinks blood, and that’s gross. Why would you want to date someone who drinks blood? Think about how many blood-borne diseases he probably has.  And, if human blood wasn’t bad enough, he also drinks the blood of animals, like bats. For all we know, he could be the one responsible for bringing COVID-19 into this world. 

Since Bella made the choice to become a vampire for Edward, she was forced to cut off ties with her family and eventually watch them die. If she chose Jacob, not only would she have had her own personal hand warmer, but she’d be able to live out her human life.

If you want to date a skinny, pasty white boy sociopath who’s afraid of dogs, be my guest, but I’ll stick to the tan hottie with chiseled abs.